Wampus
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THE POMPOUS WAMPUS.

POLLY, who toils in a Government office, has a terra cotta pet with these characteristics: Head of a lamb, ears of a mule, horns of a yearling heifer, neck like a giraffe with bronchitis, tail like a pug dog, hams like a pig, hoofs like a cow, and a grin like a Chesire cat. It is much sought as a mascot, resulting in this verse:

This animal looking so pompous
Is what science knows as a "Wam-
                pus."
        Experience shows
        That rubbing his nose
Will bring us such luck it will
                swampus.

- The Washington times, October 26, 1920



he Wampus Society is an association banded together during the time of Paul Bunyan, in the old-time logging camps astride the River Bürmoos (located just three weeks from Québec in Sattaw Territory of the Great Kanawa Republic). It was the design of one Varro Cristaldi, former Magnus Apollo of the Ancient Order of Muleskinners. A notable intellectual of his day, Cristaldi was ahead of his time, versed in the arts of fortune-telling, wampustry, and bloodstopping.

Today the Wampus Society serves as the foremost authority on “fearsome critter” cataloging and research. It is fully accredited as an educational institution by the Buckhorn Tavern (and house of science and learning) in Rice Lake, Wisconsin.


Contact:
Wampus Society Representative
yourfriend@lumberwoods.com
Lumberwoods main



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