ÿþ<html> <head> <title>Wampus Society: Dictionary</title> <META NAME="DESCRIPTION" CONTENT="Dictionary of Fearsome Critters (Anglo-American Mythical Creatures)"> <META NAME="KEYWORDS" CONTENT="American Mythical Creatures, American Mythology, Fearsome Critters, American Mythological Creatures, Fearsome Critters, American Mythological Creatures, Fearsome Critters"> <META NAME="RATING" CONTENT="General"> <META NAME="ROBOTS" CONTENT="index,follow"> <STYLE type=text/css> A:hover {TEXT-DECORATION: underline} A:link {TEXT-DECORATION: none} A:visited {TEXT-DECORATION: none} A:hover,a:active {TEXT-DECORATION: underline} </STYLE> </head><body text="black" link="blue" vlink="purple" background="images/paperbg.jpg"></script> <font face="Georgia"> </left> <center> <TABLE border=0 align="center" valign="top" cellpadding=13 cellspacing=5 colspan=7 rowspan=15 width="800"> <TD valign="top"> <font face="Georgia"> <BR> <center><font font size=6 color="darkgreen"> F</font><font font size=5 color="darkgreen">EARSOME</font><font font size=6 color="darkgreen"> C</font><font font size=5 color="darkgreen">REATURES</font><font font size=6 color="darkgreen"> O</font><font font size=5 color="darkgreen">F</font><font font size=6 color="darkgreen"> T</font><font font size=5 color="darkgreen">HE</font><font font size=6 color="darkgreen"> N</font><font font size=5 color="darkgreen">ORTHWOODS</font><BR></font><font font size=4> <font color="darkgreen"> <I><B>Being A Dictionary of North American Mythical Creatures</B></I></font><BR><BR> </font></center><BR> <font font size=2> <B>AUGERINO :</B> A particular pest among the locals of the American Southwest, this mischievous critter is notorious for tunneling underground and draining the water out of irrigation trenches. An undertaking the reptile accomplishes with a corkscrew-like apparatus that protrudes from atop its snout.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p5.htm"><B>AXE-HANDLE HOUND :</B></A> The head of the axe-handle hound is of a axe-shaped appearance, and sits atop an irregularly thin body. A grotesque visage which this freakish canine owes to the hatchet stems from which it subsides.<BR><BR> <B>BALD-KNOB BUZZARD :</B> Given that this malformed pheasant has one wing disproportional to the other. You will find that the bald-knob buzzard is forever imprisoned in an endless circumgyration.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p7.htm"><B>BALL-TAILED CAT :</B></A> Chiefly feared among the lumberjacks of Pacific Northwest is the ball-tailed cat, owning to the hard-edged sphere it possesses at the end of its long tail. This device it uses to beat credulous onlookers to their demise.<BR><BR> <B>BELLED BUZZARD :</B> The pandemonium and dread this feathered creature spreads is surpassed by no other beast in the lumberwoods. At first it is an ordinarly looking creature except for a small hankbell on its left wing. Yet to spot the belled-buzzard encircling your abode... is a sure sign that your days are numbered.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg43.htm"><B>BILLDAD :</B></A> The elastic effect the billdad transposes upon the unsuspecting dieter has made this varmint of Boundary Pond, Maine forbidden from human consumption.<BR><BR> <B>BINGBUFFER, HINGE-TAILED :</B> The ponderous bingbuffer may perhaps be the only marsupial among fearsome critters; however, unlike the kangaroo that carries young in its pouch, instead it stores a jumble of pebbles. This gravel can be loaded, in a sling-shot like manner, at the back of the beast s protracted tail. That afterwards the hinge-tailed bingbuffer, by use of a biological fulcrum, launches to snuff out its game.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg27.htm"><B>CACTUS CAT :</B></A> The cactus cat is a feline of the American southwest possessing hair like thorns and a tail like branches. That intoxicates itself by the consumption of fermented cactus water.<BR><BR> <B>CAMP CHIPMUNK :</B> The camp chimunk, being a quadruped of lurid temperament, grew to the size of horse-drawn carriages on a diet of prune-stones.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p13.htm"><B>COME-AT-A-BODY :</B></A> A startling yet harmless little beast is the come-at-a-body. The varmint, akin to a woodchuck in structure, has the tendency to rush up on unwary folk and start spitting in a manner like a cat.<BR><BR> <B>DINGBAT :</B> In the sport of hunting, many a missed shot is attributed to the work of the dingbat. The antlered bird being so talented as to be capable to swoop down, and with its mouth picks the bullets right out of thin air.<br><br> <B>DISMAL SAUGER :</B> One can always recognize the work of the dismal sauger. The drip-drop sound of swamp-water from this marsh-dwelling beastie's beard is the most dismal sound in the woods. In fact, whosoever hears it will immediately starts lamenting.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p17.htm"><B>DUNGAVENHOOTER :</B></A> A curious and dangerous fiend is the dungavenhooter. That due to its lack of a mouth, it must beat all its prey into a fine dust. The brute will subsequently inhale this dust through an enormous pair of vacuum-like nostrils.<BR><BR> <B>FLITTERICKS :</B> Flittericks are an exceedingly swift breed of flying squirrel and are capable of bringing death to any bystander. That is if they should be so unlucky enough to catch one between their eyes in mid-flight.<BR><BR> <B>FUR-BEARING TROUT :</B> Any fresh-water fish that can be distinguished by a soft pelt which covers its body is sure enough the one and only fur-bearing trout.<BR><BR> <B>GIDDY-FISH :</B> Without doubt the easiest catch in the sport of ice fishing are giddy fish. This idiosyncratic animal is small and very elastic. In fact, one bop on the head is enough to send it bouncing right out of an ice-hole inciting a chain reaction from its fellows.<BR><BR> <B>GILLYGALOO :</B> Have you ever wondered how modern dice came about? If so you might want to consider the gillygaloo bird. The big hubbub over this fowl all began when men first learnt of this quaint pheasant s cube-shaped eggs. The eggs were organically fashioned so as to prevent them from rolling down the hills on which the gillygaloo nested. A secondary use was discovered when lumbermen found the black on white speckled eggs too tough to chew when hard-boiled; consequently, throwing them across the table in outrage. It was since those days that the modern game of dice was born.<BR><BR> <B>GOOFANG :</B> The goofang is a fish which swims backwards to keep the water out of its eyes.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p19.htm"><B>GOOFUS :</B></A> Caring only where it has been and not where it is going; the goofus is an odd bird that flies in reverse and nests upside-down.<BR><BR> <B>GOWROW :</B> The ghastly growling sound which the gowrow emanates is also where it obtains its namesake.<BR><BR> <B>GLAWACKUS :</B> A fierce brute of Glastonbury, Connecticut, the glawackus, resembles a cross between a panther, a bear, and a bore. <BR><BR> <A HREF="p39.htm"><B>GOUGER, SIDE-HILL :</B></A> The side-hill gouger is never without perfect balance on a mountain slope. The reason why is, the lopsided beast s gift of legs on one side of its body longer than the other and while this may allow it to maintain level footing on steep hillsides. Unfortunately, in tern the creature is forced to go in only one direction, uphill, until it grow old and dies.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg11.htm"><B>GUMBEROO :</B></A> A hairless, bear-like beast with hide so tough that bullets bounce back off of it is called the gumberoo.<BR><BR> <B>HANGDOWN :</B> The hangdown is a witless varmint so named due to its rather curious act of hanging upside-down from trees. It is this ill-fated trait that makes this creature an effortless target for skin-hunters.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p23.htm"><B>HIDEBEHIND :</B></A> From the green headwaters of the Atlantic to the precipitous folds of the northern Canadian Rockies there is no beast so infamous than that of the hidebehind. Crunching on the bones of wayfarers or any other unfortunate that crosses its path. The grizzly hidebehind has only been seen by its victims; therefore, one can only therozied of its queer habits. The few reports that do exist are conflicting. Some liken it to a sort of ghastly dinosaur, others favor it to that of a bear. One report has it that the critter is said to be extremely lengthy. Easily concealing itself behind the trunk of any tree. Its face is covered in shaggy hair, like that of a German Sheppard and seldom if at all can one tell in what direction the fiend is facing. The most important fact; however, in this report is that the hidebehind has a severe intolerance to alcohol. That one shot of good whiskey has proven a successful repellent against the wicked miscreation.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p25.htm"><B>HODAG :</B></A> A ferocious critter native to the northern swamps. Described by many as having bulging eyes, a row of spikes down its back, a head akin to an ox and the body of a dinosaur; complimented by a maniacal grin. The beast feast upon white bulldogs (but only on Sundays) and is considerably weakend by citric acid found in lemons.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p27.htm"><B>HOOP SNAKE :</B></A> A serpent which bites its tail enabling it to roll like a wheel. It doesn't strike with fangs, but instead with a hooked stinger in a fashion comparable to the scorpion.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg9.htm"><B>HUGAG :</B></A> A legendary animal prevented from grazing due to its long, upper-lip and laying down due to its jointless legs.<BR><BR> <B>JACKALOPE :</B> An animal resembling a rabbit with deer antlers, noteworthy for its uncanny ability to mimic sounds. The beast is native to the American Southwest and only mates during thunderstorms.<BR><BR> <B>JIMPLECUTE :</B> A phantom lizard that has been the end of many ill-fated wayfarers due to its appalling, vampiric appetite.<BR><BR> <B>JOINT SNAKE :</B> The joint snake is a bizarre serpent that is naturally granted with the means to remend itself if ever amputated.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p31.htm"><B>LUFFERLANG :</B></A> A bushy tailed brute with a voracious bite, recognizable for its distinct blue stripe and tripple-jointed legs.<BR><BR> <B>MILIKING SNAKE :</B> The serpentine cousin of the milking trout. SEE MILKING TROUT<BR><BR> <B>MILIKING TROUT :</B> A queer flounder fond of nursing off of cows, when they are cooling in a brook.<BR><BR> <B>PHILLYLOO :</B> A featherless crane that, as a means to fight off Rheumatism, flies at all times upturned. The poet Jack Prelutsky described the fowl thusly<sup>16</sup>  <BR><BR> <I> The phillyloo bird looks like a crane<BR> but has even longer legs.<BR> Since it has no knees, it can't sit down,<BR> so it lays only broken eggs. <BR></I><BR> <B>RAZORBACK:</B> An Ozark porker gifted with an exceedingly thin body; granting it easy passage through the narrowest moutain hollows.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg13.htm"><B>ROPERITE :</B></A> A legendary pheasant which reels in all of its food with its remarkable rope-like bill.<BR><BR> <B>RUBBERADO :</B> A critter that rather than walks, bounces from point a to point b.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p35.htm"><B>RUMPTIFUSEL :</B></A> An animal of narrow breadth that closely favors a woolly garment, to entice its victim to try it on. Thereafter the unfortunate quarry is strangled to death.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p43.htm"><B>SILVERCAT :</B></A> A particularly dangerous feline with fiery red eyes and a long tail that is affixed with a large spiked-knot, use not entirely unlike a fork when devouring prey.<BR><BR> <B>SNALLYGASTER :</B> A winged brute of Appalachia, resembling something of a cross between a griffin and a dragon. The bird-reptile hybrid has a metallic beak, razor-sharp teeth, enormous claws, an eye in the center of its forehead and dozens of wriggling tentacles. Hex signs in the form of seven-pointed stars afford the only means of protection against the creature.<BR><BR> <B>SNAWFUS :</B> A large albino deer with its antlers adorned with an assortment of flowers and vines.<BR><BR> <B>SNEE, CROSS-FEATHERED :</B> A fowl capable of existing only in the most frigid, uninhabitable regions. The bird is yet another animal of the asymmetrical brand and can easily be captured is set on level-ground, where it will fall over face first.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg15.htm"><B>SNOLIGOSTER :</B></A> A large and sinister brute resembling a legless crocodile that propels itself through water with its unique propeller tipped tail. The serpent is native to the southeastern swamps and impales its quarry on a slinder spike, which sits atop its back.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg39.htm"><B>SNOW WASSET:</B></A> A fiend of the Boreal Zone which, by instrument of its legless form, accelerates beneath the snow to devour any unfortunate victim atop the surface.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg37.htm"><B>SPLINTERCAT :</B></A> A legendary cat that uses its incredible speed and rigid forehead to demolishes the whole lot of which comes in its way. <BR><BR> <B>SQUIDGICUM-SQUEE :</B> An elusive and bashful brute that when spotted (to spare itself the embarrassment of being glimpsed) will instantaneously swallow up a vast breath of air, engulfing itself in the process.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p11.htm"><B>SQUINK, COLUMBIA RIV. SAND :</B></A> Out of all the strange creatures that haunt the dreams of the old-time loggers. You will find none so peculiar as that of the squink. The beast is a rabbit eared, coyote jawed, squirrel tailed, snaggletoothed quadruped of shocking characteristics. Quite literally in fact, for it subsides on electric eels. Their charge induces the squink with brilliant light from its tail. Not entirely unlike that of a neon sign. Where onlookers are attracted by it in the forest night, subsequently they are never heard from again. <BR><BR> <A HREF="pg31.htm"><B>SQUONK :</B></A> The most melancholy of creatures that, because of its deformed countenance, refuses contact with all life and will dissolve completely into tears if ever gazed upon.<BR><BR> <B>TEAKETTLER :</B> A small varmint that makes a noise like the sound of a tea kettle.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg19.htm"><B>TERRASHOT, FUNERAL MNT. :</B></A> A ghastly monstrosity with a casket-shape body that explodes upon contact with the hot sands of the Amargosa Desert. Leaving not a trace behind, but a grave shaped hole.<BR><BR> <B>TIMMERDOODLE :</B> A tenacious animal with jowls like an iron latch. That once affixed will only yield at the resonance of thunder.<BR><BR> <A HREF="p55.htm"><B>TREESQUEAK :</B></A> A petite, shrieking varmint that uses its coarse bark-line skin to blend flawlessly in with the brushwood of the forest.<BR><BR> <B>WAMFAHOOFUS :</B> (<I>Limmertakus boottii</I>.) The Wamfahoofus is shaped somewhat like a leathery lilly pad in a pond, with eyes like a frog--oftentimes only one eye, looks like a bubble-- the Wamfahoofus waits in puddles, shallow wet spots, low boggy areas, along the trails of the Appalachian Mountains. The Wamfahoofus feeds on boot leather but will often be fooled into taking a sneaker as well. They have only a right hand and wait for the unwary hiker to step on them when troding through their puddle whereupon the Wamfahoofus grabs on tight. If you are successful in escaping with your foot gear usually you will hear a long mournful wail, a schckckcklooop kind of sound, the cry of a hungry Wamfahoofus. Best avoided by keeping to the left of any puddles you encounter.*<font font size=1><BR><BR> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;* This account was submitted by A. J. Oxton of the White Mountains of New Hampshire. From original research, along with the anecdotal accounts of hikers, such as local historian Ben English, and others he met along the Way. <I>Limmertakus boottii</I> was first described by Dr. Francis Boott (1792-1863), after whom a minor peak southeast of Mount Washington is named. Dr. Boott never wrote his description of <I>Limmertakus boottii</I> beyond comments in a few personal letters; he greatly feared tarnishing his reputation, and his living, as a botanist. For the most part the <I>Legend of Limmertakus</I> was passed down as a campfire story. The common name derived, later in part, from the sound a youthful sneaker makes when slammed with diligence into just the right consistancy of mud.</font><BR><BR> <B>WAMPUS CAT:</B> A colossal, ghastly feline with an unearthly cry and glowing eyes. The brute is impervious to gun fire and hides in and around creeks at night stalking its prey. Believed by some to be not a beast, but instead the bewitched feline embodiment of an Indian enchantress. Who, whilst in this form, spies on the activities of her male companions.<BR><BR> <B>WAMPALOOSIE :</B> A tiny critter credited with the ability to scale any altitude by means of its worm like torso and woodpecker like feet.<BR><BR> <B>WHINGDING, WHIMPERING :</B> A miserable miscreation that sobs so pathetically that it once brought down an entire population of wolves who died out of sheer grief.<BR><BR> <B>WHING-WHANG:</B> A bizarre and mysterious critter with the queer habit of writing its namesake over and over again in the beach sand at night.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg41.htm"><B>WHINTOSSER, CENTRAL AMER. :</B></A> A bloodthirsty fiend of deplorable disposition, having a triangular-prism shaped body with a set of legs on each side, so to always land feet first.<BR><BR> <A HREF="pg33.htm"><B>WIMPUS, WHIRLING :</B></A> A varmint that spins so rapidly that it liquidates any and all things that get in its way.<BR><BR> <B>WHOOPER HOPPER :</B> An enormous cricket ranging from the size of a small dog to as big as a house, popularized by various tall tale postcards.<BR><BR> <B>WUNK :</B> A reluctant skin-changer that hides from prying eyes by burrowing down through the sod and collapsing the hole after it.<BR><BR> </font> <center><A HREF="references.htm"><font font size=5 color="darkgreen">f' REFERENCES g'</font></A></center> </td></tr> </table> (CC) 2009-2012 <A HREF="index.htm">Wampus Society</a> [Creative Commons, Attribution (CC-BY) ] <BR> <U> :& You are free to copy, distribute, display, perform, and make derivatives on this or any part of this work as long<BR> as you attribute it to the Wampus Society. </U>:&</font><BR> <BR> </body> </html>